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How to Explain A Parent Going to Prison to a Child
An estimated 2.7 million American children have at least one parent in prison. What's more is studies say that children who have a parent behind bars are more likely to end up behind bars themselves somewhere down the line. So with that being said, it's important to handle the case of Mom or Dad going to jail correctly from the get-go and this starts with explaining to your child exactly why they're going away.
Contrary to what you might think, telling your child that Mom or Dad is going "on a vacation," "away for awhile" or "working for the government" and tip-toeing around the issue isn't the best way to handle it. For starters, it's best to be open and honest with your child about the mistake their parent made and how they have to be punished for it. And secondly, you don't want your child to hear about Mom or Dad's jail sentence in the school yard or classroom if word got out elsewhere - you want the news to come from you.
With that being said, here are a few other suggestions on how to properly handle a parent incarceration:
- Keep it simple: Use your judgment to keep the explanation of Mom or Dad's misdoing age appropriate and basic. Explain to your child that a mistake was made and these are the consequences. Also explain to them about how long they'll be gone for.
- Make sure your child knows that even though Mom or Dad will be spending some time in prison, that the situation is in no way their fault. Make sure the child also knows that their incarcerated parent loves them.
- Detail future contact: Also make sure that your child knows that just because one of their parents is in prison doesn't mean they won't be a part of their life. Contacting loved ones in prison is simple and can be done either in person or by written correspondence. Make sure your child knows this and make sure you help your child communicate with Mom or Dad as often as they'd like.
- Prepare: Brace yourself for questions your child might ask after you break the news and if you don't know the answer to something, tell them just that - then answer it later after you've gathered the appropriate information.
Having a parent behind bars is no easy thing for a child to go through. But being open and honest with the child about the situation is the best way to handle it and the best way to prevent your child from following the trend of winding up in prison themselves.